So its been awhile that I've been saying to myself that I honestly need to get healthy and lose some weight. These headaches are monsterious (new word? Probably so), these never ending fat rolls are just, well just nasty, my skin is all outbreaky (another fab. New word) and I just feel like complete cah-rap!!!
So many of my friends have started their weight loss journey and I've been following them, wondering to myself "how do they do it", go with out pizza on super bowl Sunday? No cheese puffs for a late night snack? Go with out fries on your way home from work to hold you over before you scrumptious and fabulous 5 tacos from taco bell dinner? Then it hit me..."oh they can do it because it makes them feel good and skinny" that's how I want to and need to feel.
Now let me take you a little through my past so we can get to understand where I'm at today and how I let myself get here.
I was always a small baby and toddler and didn't seem to think I was to over weight as a child. I participated in cheerleading and soccer through out my younger days and some how I still had some "baby fat" as we used to call it left and somehow I had a little chunker self look. I had been a little over weight in elementary/middle school. Which is totally not cool when your trying to find "yourself" and where you fit in. luckily I had some pretty cool friends that being "over weight" was not really to depressing for me at that time. I had names thrown at me often, and didn't really seem to bother me.(Mostly because they were boys and I just took it as flirting, but That's a whole different blog! ) I just basically went with the flow of things and I didn't really notice that I ate to much, but I guess looking back it probably was a little more then I needed to endure in one sitting. High-school came and during the summer before high school started I thinned out from walking EVERYWHERE with a friend of mine (once again, that's for another blog.) I felt great going into high school. The name calling or "fat jokes" pretty much were gone by this point and it felt great. I then switched school my early junior year and noticed to gain some weight but now to much but fat jokes had started back, not as bad as before but they were there, and being older and wiser this time it bothered me just a tad bit. I graduated in 2005 and was working at a fast food place where I maintained my weight, even with all that fast food pleasures around. Don't get me wrong I ate it, a lot of it but I didn't really gain weight. I then got married in 2006 we moved about 1500 miles away from my family and I blew up!!! Literally, gained a good 100lbs in 3 years. It was kind of gross. For a year of our marriage I didn't work so that was a big help in that weight gain. I then found a super awesome job as a youth center teacher and lost some weight, I felt great! Then this is where the pounds started coming off..... my husband and I split up and decided to get a divorce!!!!! I WAS DEVASTATED .. I LITERALLY never ever ate, like ever. I had no way home and it was miles and miles away, so I was stuck in a broken home which killed me. I tried to eat but I could never swallow so I just didn't eat for 2 months straight and lost 50lbs. I then started to eat again slowly once I made it back home to my family. I then lost about 20 more big bucks and looked better then ever. I was so beautiful and loved myself.
I just looked amazing.
Sooo, 6 months later I became PREGNANT and well that tacked on a whoopin 100 pounds yet again.
pretty gross huh?
I must say though, I got a pretty amazingly, beautiful gift out of gaining ONE hundred POUNDS
worth every pound.
So after all that I lost about 25-30lbs and honestly after just giving birth and nursing it should have been way more then that but I still ate like I was pregnant.
My daughter was born in October 2009 and November 2009 I joined a gym (never went) then in may 2010 I said to myself that I was done being fat. I out down the chocolate (my weakness) and started the p90x diet. It went amazing and I felt amazing. Over a span of about 2 months I lost around 25 pounds. I then platued, lost motivation and gained it all back.
This is where I am today.I eat non stop and can not get over the "yummy goodness" food. I don't even know how I did it before. This time though I have a support group to help me and back me up. I'm going to change my life not only for me but for my daughter as well. I need this for us. My goal is not only to lose weight but to be healthy and active. Make right choices. Be a good example for my tiny human.
This has to be a life style not a diet.
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