40 down 31 to go.

Wow, its been quiet awhile since I've blogged.
Needless to say I've had many things on my mind and just haven't thought about it.

Well ill start off by saying today is my 62nd day on diet and exercise and I've lost 40lbs.
Defiantly really great but I feel I have slacked back a little.
My eating is still practically the same and only consuming 1 carb and 1 fat but I have totally cut back on my working out.
It's sad.

Remember I was doing my p90x in the mornings and then going to the gym burning 600-800 calories a night. Welp, I no longer do p90x because I stopped for a couple weeks for a personal issue and then when time came to start back up,I just didn't have the motivation. I am still going to the gym nightly. Not burning anywhere near 600 calories, I burnt 450 today. But I guess I'm still getting to the gym so that count for something, huh?
I have also the past 2 days started getting coffee in the mornings and drinking a diet POP at night which is huge no no!!! Kind of ashamed of myself but I'm just going to keep on keeping to achieve my goals.
The goals are the same, I just, now think it'll take a bit longer then expected.
I'm hoping to find motivation to kick start the p90x again because I know that's what will help me succeed big numbers in a quicker period.

I do believe that I will and can get to my main weight goal of 155 and I do know its going to be a very tough struggle, but how I know ill achieve it is the fact that I have not been the weight I am now since I was 6months pregnant, so 21 months its been. And when I lost weight this past summer I felt great, thought I looked great and was so happy. Problem was, I was 23lbs heavier than I am now, I didn't have short term goals set and I never thought about how healthy and great I would look. So I gave up, gained it back and felt like crap!!
Now I have a vision of what I want out of myself. I look at myself and even though its great to have lost 40 pounds to me, I don't look great, so I don't feel great.
I want to be able to achieve my goals and to be comfortable in the skin I am in.
Back then I never seen the goals like I do now. I didn't think it were possible, but I realize now that they are.

I've really been thinking a lot over the past couple months, about once I hit my goal at 155 what will I do after?
Just maintain?
Lose more?
Tone, tighten and gain?
And I came to the decision that i truly want to become a personal trainer and be part of the p90x beachbody team. I also down the line would love to open my own gym.
Sounds silly to look at me now, huh?
I have always in my little lifed mind have known I wanted to A. Be a nurse and B. Own a business.
When I was younger, around 16 I thought it would be real cool to own a tanning company. Which makes sense, since I was 16!
Then last summer when I started my diet the first time I thought it would be neat to open a restaurant/fast food-ish place called 'health nut' (nut because I DO live in the buckeye state ) and this would bring healthy, flavorful and colorful dishes that I have learned to love. It would have a portion controlled menu with 3 different style of portions (because I'm not there to determine who , should have how much food on their plate.)
And the past couple months I've been really wanting to open a gym. So what better way to combine those 3 things and have like a super mega gym.
I feel it would be great. You can work out, eat healthy and tan!!! AWESOME!
Obviously thats way way down the line.
But its totally a huge goal I would like to have. And I'm sure once I lose all my weight tone up and gain muscle those goals would mean everything to me and more :)